adjusting my adjustments

I am tired of making adjustments.

I am tired of squeezing myself a little bit further to the right just so someone else could pass through before me. I am tired of letting people get ahead of me because they feel too self-important to wait their turn.

I am tired of being told to be more patient, more forgiving, because you’re supposed to be softer and kinder and you should know better, because people need the room for their little insecurities and adjustments and the need to fucking belong. I am tired of telling myself to be more patient and more forgiving because I am supposed to do so, because holding on to a little of anger or annoyance will not merit to anything, that being angry is unattractive.

I am tired of giving concessions all the fucking time, and in return I get incompetence and ungratefulness. I am tired of adjusting to give way for other people’s egos or self-absorbed selves.

I am tired of all those things, but you know what?

I am superlatively tired about this:

Continue reading “adjusting my adjustments”