I’m a person who’s afraid of sudden changes but also craves for it, and I do not mix well with self-imposed regular schedules although I find myself quite good at following routines when others or circumstances force them on me.
And so, because I’m such a spastic person, I am gearing myself up to ~flow back~ into blogging after my temporary hiatus, and what better way to do that than putting up a new At this Point shot *confetti* yay!
It’s 2AM and I’m high on caffeine that I shouldn’t have drunk at ten in the evening, so of course my thoughts are too scattered and incoherent for a proper blog post so I thought a well-structured one could put me on the right track.
I like structure. I hate it when things are in such disarray, when everyone just makes things up to get through whatever they have to–ironically enough, that’s how I roll. Which kinda means that I am a living contradiction of myself. Nice.
So! Before I lose it completely, here is my third At this Point!
I’m trying to plow through Ned Vizzini’s It’s Kind of a Funny Story for weeks now but I’m still a little after the halfway mark. It’s a combination of acad problems and sheer lack of mood that’s why I haven’t finished. Oh, and distractions too.
My reading habits are just as spastic as I am–I certainly didn’t have a problem plowing through Jenny Han’s To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before in under four hours while I was on a long break, waiting for my last class that day. But there are times when I put a book down for a moment and then my attention shifts on a new thing like it’s a shiny toy and the next thing I know, the book is already being packed into a box of books I already read even though my pseudo-bookmark is still wedged in between pages 48 and 49. I don’t know; I’ve long since known that I have very predictable habits and reactions but I also have completely unpredictable ones–at least I like to think so lol.
I’m thinking of going back to my (fail) attempt of writing a novel for Camp NaNoWriMo. Joining NaNoWriMo (it’s every November) has been one of my ambitious aims this 2015–right beside putting up and maintaining a blog–and I thought joining “The Camp” would be a good practice as well as a way to gauge my work ethics. Look at where I ended up–I kinda stopped after the 7k mark because, as usual, I was swamped with real life+acads. At least I got the second part right–it made me realize that I can’t work through anything like that for as long as I’m still on the edge about my acads. Which is a pretty sad thing, because I promised myself that college wouldn’t entirely remove me from the writing scene. But then again, we all have our mini boohoo’s since college started and we all just have to deal because not everything lasts forever–and yes, this is me pulling a “forever is bullshit” on you people.
Disclaimer: I do not like the bandwagon of people claiming that forever is not real–in fact, I hate that “movement” and mentality and the people who are so well-invested in proving and always quoting, “Walang forever“. Go and do something more productive with your lives, please. Better yet, help this “god forsaken country”, as one of my professors used to quote, by advocating something that really matters. I believe in forever but not just in a lot of people’s rose-tinted views.
Have I mentioned here how much I love Spotify? I lightly remember mentioning Spotify but I’m not sure if I reiterated enough that Spotify is da lyfe. I have a new phone now (yay!!!) as well as a new memory card but I still depend more on Spotify than my limited playlist in my phone.
I started writing this with EDM blasting in my ears–because I crave The Rave—but then I realized that it’s not helping with the shaky hands (thanks to my on-off lover, coffee) so I switched to a relaxed mood vibe. Still on Spotify. I love Spotify. I live Spotify.
Like sweat. Coz the aircon timer already went off. Boohoo.
my heart on my sleeve. Kidding! But I am wearing my thoughts quite out loud right now. If that even makes sense.
about my grades–ugh, I’m not a very grades-obsessed person jUST MAKING IT CLEAR! But shifting needs a good set of grades and I’m not secure yet so I’m just all nerves and waiting and crying until I get the good news (hooray for the remaining positivity in me).
the kick of both sleepiness and caffeine. And I’m really craving for a good reason to get hammered.
(Actually, I don’t want/need a reason but I really, really, really want to get wasted soon, preferably over the next week. Or like, right now.)
I’m not trying to promote alcoholism here or anything, and I’m definitely not trying to build a “bad, bad girl” image too. It’s just that life has been stressful and it would be kind of nice to loosen up around friends.
Plus, I’ve been wound up tightly over the last semester (and I just can’t stop repeating this, can I?), plus I’ve been reading too many stories set in College/University universes and I could really relate so much with the coffee overdose, the lack of sleep, the library camp outs EXCEPT for the rave scenes and I kinda feel jealous.
This is pathetic. I feel jealous over fictional characters because they get to attend more college parties than me, and they have their more than their fair share of alcohol in their system and out. Pathetic, yes.
I’m a young and able college student and there has been lots of opportunities to drink and grind with strangers over the semester but I bailed out more than often because I wasn’t ~feeling it~ and now that I do, school is over. This is sad.
I’m actually going around asking my friends (lol okay, I only asked like two or three) if they want to get smashed with me.
Disclaimer: This is the caffeine and the late hour talking. I’m not usually a party-starved animal because in the first place I’m usually not interested but I guess the lack of social life is finally getting to me.
my neat little corner of exile–a.k.a The Nest
*whispers* a l c o h o l *chokes* v o d k a p l e a s e
SLEEP lol I have a vaccine appointment tomorrow (later??? coz it’s already 3-ish)
that my parents would surprise us and just tell us to pack our bags coz bitches we’re going to Hong Kong!!!
But seriously. I asked for an out-of-the-country trip instead of a fancy, princess debut and I still don’t have any idea when we’re supposed to go. Or if we’re still going. I am honestly itching for a change of scenery, and more reasons to make Dad see that I will totally fall in love with no one soon if he gives me a DSLR.
So yeah, I’ve been very chatty tonight (this morning??) and this is really incoherent at the moment. I’ll go back and edit tomorrow and put up GIFs and memes and stuff (who hates GIFs and memes? They’re always so accurate!)
See you soon (like later) ×